What was your first time like?
This is one of those questions that you can ask anyone over a certain age (and tragically one or two below it), and their eyes will go misty, and a small smile will play on their lips (or it could be a sneer, sometimes it’s hard to tell) and before you know it you’re getting the whole story, blow by blow, so to speak.
You’re first time is not something a person forgets. To do the report before Monday – yes; their partner’s birthday – yes; where they parked the FRAKKIN’ car, I mean it was just here a minute ago!! – yes, but their first time… Not likely!
Beautiful. Traumatic, awkward or all three rolled into one. It’s seen almost like a right of passage, or key to adulthood where a breaking voice, pimples or a new set of boobs just doesn’t quiet cut it. (Er, the breaking voice and boobs not being on one and the same person unless they’re Caster Semenya..)
And where did it happen? Your bed? Their bed? Your parent’s bed? Your car? Next to a giant Styrofoam ‘Free Willy’ poster at the aquarium?
Was it embarrassing?
Did you perform up to standard or will it always be a rueful memory that requires a shot of tequila and a hard core chocolate muffin to release the full story?
Was it everything you thought it would be? More then that? Sadly less? Or was it just like crop circles, totally unexplainable?
Would you have done anything differently? (Hindsight, gotta love it.)
Was it worth it?
Were you ready?
What advice would you give your kids on the subject?
What ever happened to the person you shared that moment with?
What’s your bank account number?
Yes I know it’s a lot of questions but I thought it would be nice to have a jog down memory lane. If you were hoping for tips or tricks or interestingly scented lubing jellies, then I may have to recommend you go Google that after reading this?
Other then that, just wondering…
CARTOON:
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