This question is still, unsurprisingly, largely up to debate in many circles.
We can generally tell that most people want a mate who is at least basically as healthy and robust as they can be, but after that tastes swing so wildly and varied that finding an accurate way to measure and plot ‘attractiveness’ begins to fall flat.
The basic argument falls down to those two classics we like to blame for everything from homosexuality to why Little Pete won’t eat his lentils, namely, The Biological Drive or Social Influence arguments.
The Biological Drive argument says that we are all born with an instinctive realization of the qualities we seek in a mate who would help make a good genetic donor to our not-yet-conceived offspring. (Not sure then how they explain homosexuality, inbreeding or Michael Jackson but then but I’m sure there’s got to be an exception or two to prove the rule?)
The Social Influence argument says we are taught by media, society, friends, family and cigarette adverts, what to find attractive and what to shun. The classic example they give here is how the more plump and Romanesque woman was preferred in ye olden days compared to the skeletal, with skin optional, women who are today’s bon-bons. We learn these tastes from everywhere it seems. Like maybe you want someone as stern as your father? Or a red head like your feisty Irish nanny or perhaps someone who can bend like the people you once saw in your uncle Lenny’s weird magazines that you peeked at as a kid and that still leave you waking up screaming yet oddly aroused?
Or maybe it’s a mixture of both? Personally I suspect it is. I think it’s a whole mish-mash of our human experience throughout life that blends together and helps us form an idea of what, to us, is the perfect mate, the cat’s meow!
But whatever the reasons it’s very rare to come across someone who’s either completely uninterested in another human being (Except computer nerds and I still think Ewoks count!) or who will happily have sex with anyone (many guys say they will until ‘Leper Annie’ comes a stumpin’ up to them with a wink and half a smile…)
Yet attraction is a weird thing even so! There are folk who will swear blind they can only fall for tall, lean, rich, runway models but who end up finding happiness with Tilly, the plump little maid, and there are strong passionate attractions that have fizzled away to nothing while some small “mediocre” attractions have stood the test of time.
Trying to analyze and figure out what attracts us to another person is almost impossible to pin point accurately. Best advice I can give you is to go with what feels right to you and what makes you happy!
(And if you happen to be a pedophile or a rapist – SORRY FOR YOU HEY!!)
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